Well today marks me being completely sober for a month. No foul shit has entered my body except a few fast food joints and some soda. I cant lie at this point I feel like I'm physically on top of the world. When I was drinking I would get real bad anxiety and panic attacks. Basically cause I knew I was pushing shit away and fucking up. Some people say "wow dude big deal one month" but the way I was getting down to some that's a lifetime haha. Mentally I'm real clear. I have a lot of shit that I want to do in such little time. That's my one problem. I try to do too much at once. I'm a very stubborn guy. I feel disappointed and like i I failed if i don't achieve all my goals. Well there's a lot that I want to do and I have to realize that their is a lot of time. I have to sort out in my own head whats important and what isn't at the moment. Take a step into reality and out of "dreamland" for a little while haha. On some real shit though. Very mental strong and physically strong. Its only going to get better. 1 month deep and nowhere near turning back. xxx. Also yesterday marked the 10 months for me and April. Put that up on the charts. Count it. Its crazy to be with someone for that amount of time and still have it feel so fresh and new. This girl seriously melts me. We've been through more shit in 10 months than most people go through in two years and that only made the foundation of this shit 1000000000x stronger. When you get through all the petty shit and disagreements and typical "relationship ordeals" its all worth it. We have long distance relationship. She lives in Philly and I live in Jerz. We made that work without a hitch with neither of us having our license. Now we are on top. Seeing each other all the time since I got my shit. Going out. Having nice times. Seriously if you think for one second about giving up think if its really worth it to have that person out of your life for good. We love each other. It's evident. Tons of shit to look forward to. 10 months and going for gold. Cant stop us.
Last night I went out to my boy Wes house in Newark to get the official G.O.G. tattoo. A lot of people ask "what is G.O.G." Ill beak it down for you as simple as I can. It isn't alphabet soup or three letters just thrown together to stand as a crew or a gang. It's more or less a family. G.O.G= gods own gangsta. It means no matter what you have put in front of you in life you have the power to overcome it. You are your own god. You depict your path in life and let your mind decide where you want to be. When you deal with so much bad in your life good is bound to be waiting around the corner. KARMA. G.O.G. is a group of people who have all been dealt a shitty card somewhere along the line and help one another out to stay positive. To see light through the dark. To be there for one another when shit gets thick. Its not a crew or gang but, it is a positive movement that I feel very strongly about. So before you go off and flap your lips we all have nothing to prove. Were not flexing our muscles or saying we have one up on anyone. We do our thing. You do yours. A positive revolution is on the horizon like it or not. Its only growing.
-Bear G.O.G. xxx
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