The Edge Is Strong. !0 Months And Running. G.O.G.

Well today marks me being completely sober for a month. No foul shit has entered my body except a few fast food joints and some soda. I cant lie at this point I feel like I'm physically on top of the world. When I was drinking I would get real bad anxiety and panic attacks. Basically cause I knew I was pushing shit away and fucking up. Some people say "wow dude big deal one month" but the way I was getting down to some that's a lifetime haha. Mentally I'm real clear. I have a lot of shit that I want to do in such little time. That's my one problem. I try to do too much at once. I'm a very stubborn guy. I feel disappointed and like i I failed if i don't achieve all my goals. Well there's  a lot that I want to do and I have to realize that their is a lot of time. I have to sort out in my own head whats important and what isn't at the moment. Take a step into reality and out of "dreamland" for a little while haha. On some real shit though. Very mental strong and physically strong. Its only going to get better. 1 month deep and nowhere near turning back. xxx.

Also yesterday marked the 10 months for me and April. Put that up on the charts. Count it. Its crazy to be with someone for that amount of time and still have it feel so fresh and new. This girl seriously melts me. We've been through more shit in 10 months than most people go through in two years and that only made the foundation of this shit 1000000000x stronger. When you get through all the petty shit and disagreements and typical "relationship ordeals" its all worth it. We have long distance relationship. She lives in Philly and I live in Jerz. We made that work without a hitch with neither of us having our license. Now we are on top. Seeing each other all the time since I got my shit. Going out. Having nice times. Seriously if you think for one second about giving up think if its really worth it to have that person out of your life for good. We love each other. It's evident. Tons of shit to look forward to. 10 months and going for gold. Cant stop us.

Last night I went out to my boy Wes house in Newark to get the official G.O.G. tattoo. A lot of people ask "what is G.O.G." Ill beak it down for you as simple as I can. It isn't alphabet soup or three letters just thrown together to stand as a crew or a gang. It's more or less a family. G.O.G= gods own gangsta. It means no matter what you have put in front of you in life you have the power to overcome it. You are your own god. You depict your path in life and let your mind decide where you want to be. When you deal with so much bad in your life good is bound to be waiting around the corner. KARMA. G.O.G. is a group of people who have all been dealt a shitty card somewhere along the line and help one another out to stay positive. To see light through the dark. To be there for one another when shit gets thick. Its not a crew or gang but, it is a positive movement that I feel very strongly about. So before you go off and flap your lips we all have nothing to prove. Were not flexing our muscles or saying we have one up on anyone. We do our thing. You do yours. A positive revolution is on the horizon like it or not. Its only growing.

-Bear G.O.G. xxx

Check em out- not for that faint at heart 

www.myspace.com/razorbladehandgrenade

THE STRAIGHT EDGE

Now ever since I stopped drinking a lot of people say "yo youll have a beer one day and thats okay" and this and that. I honestly don't nearly see that day in my future at all. People ask "so what are you straight edge now" and Ive basically replied "I guess you could say that". There was never a day where I sat down and said yes now im straight edge. Now im apart of something. It was a choice that I made for myself in order to move forward. Sort of a way to separate me from the life that I was living and its giving me power to push on. In no way, shape, or form to I look down on people who drink. I was looking down on myself and the way I was living and wanted to change that. Id say personally I was straight edge the day I decided I truly never wanted to have a drink again or feel "fucked up". Lifes hard enough to figure out never mind that bullshit. You shouldn't put something into your body to relieve stress or have a good time. You should have the power and the mindset to do it yourself. It became a routine. Drinking was my vice. A weakness and something I needed to overcome. Cig's completely suck I never got into that. Weed is a complete joke. Ive experienced a lot in the book of narcotics and its all a joke and a cop out at least for me. I feel strongly about this and Im finally not fogged like I was. I know the direction I want to go. Life will go on but there's a difference. I will be on top of my own life and make the decisions I need to make. Physically Strong. Mental Strong. xxx. 

-Bear 

NBA 2K9

Well folks. Football season has been over for a while. Im not a huge videogame head by any means I basically only play sports video games. Madden season is done till summer. From what I hear MLB 2K9 sucks a big one. NBA 2K9 on the other hand is outstanding. The game play is very realistic. The graphics are superb. Its just an all around fun game. I can say that I am pretty much addicted to it. I really want to play right now. I don't own an xbox but a few of my buddies do. Im nasty with the Cavs. Come see me. Rent this game or pick it up if you haven't. Well worth the 40 bucks. 

WEEK INTO WEEKEND. TONS OF SHOWS. LOVE LIFE.

This week and weekend was fucking great. I saw a lot of awesome bands this week. First show being Zoroaster, Valens and Thundercoffin at America. Valens and Thundercoffin are two bands that you need to get into. Thundercoffin is something that you get very high to without doing any drugs at all. Riff high. Madden's brother is a riffaholic and Jeff Cannonball is the grim reaper. GDP is a beatmaster and Madden is a faggot. Mix all of this together and you have a good band. Valens is hell coming at you with tons of riffs. NJ is on top. Seriously. Decent turnout at this show but im gonna get into the most important thing. Zoroaster. Holy god damn shit. This was easily the loudest band that I have ever heard. As you can see in the picture I post above their guitar set up is ridiculous. This wasnt just a show it was a "show" if that makes any sense at all. They had smoke machines,  a light show, and played in the pitch black. Id say they are all in there 30's and cant be anything short of deaf. They were so god damn loud and it ruled for as much as I could take. Some of the bass tones honestly rattled my own brain. I had to leave the room with five minutes left in their set because my ears were ringing so much and on the verge of bleeding. Pretty sure they are headlining one of the days at Scion Fest. Pretty wild. I stumbled out of the tiny basement room and I believe I was trying to talk to people but could only yell. A good RTF get together none the less. Show ruled.

Saturday was Have Heart, Bracewar, Mother Of Mercy, My Luck, Rival Mob and Bad Seed in New Jersey at DA CHURCH. Show was packed to the fucking wall. Kids scattered from PA, NJ, and NY and a few other states for this one. Easily over 300 people there all together. Every band that I caught fucking ripped it. Not to many scuffles except some jerkoff in the back but that got taken care of immediately. Show went off without a hitch and proved that NJ is pretty much stronger than ever. Its good to see people from other states come in and get along with everyone and just show common respect for one another. Great times. The Stelton Church is where its at. Tons of mosh, stagedives, and love. Respect.

Today I took the trip out to Doylestown with SnakeV and Rotting Man. Pretty much the same lineup as yesterday except Pulling Teeth and Ringworm played. Yes Ringworm. I basically payed 12 dollars for this show just to see Ringworm play "Justice Replaced By Revenge" and they did and I got my moneys worth. Sucks they didnt play "God Eat God" but what can you do? I also wanted to catch Rival Mob really really bad since I had missed them on Saturday but I missed them yet again. Band is seriously so good. I will get around to seeing them. Mob Rules All. Show was real cool. Good vibes. Awkward at times during Pulling Teeth but that was only cause they played some new songs which I am very excited to hear on recording. They sounded pretty epic. 250 plus. Show was packed. Good Turnout. Its time to passout. Snow suxxx and prevented me from picking up my girlfriend in philly. I wanted to get rootbear floats with her and pull an all nighter but the roads are slippery as shit. Life is good to me. Keepin clear. Steering straight. 

-Bear

www.myspace.com/valensvalens