Tuesday, May 26, 2009


It's pretty insane how a piece of paper controls everything in the entire world. Looking around everything is controlled by it. It can make or break a person. Your whole life revolves around how much you make and what you spend it on. Your judged by it. People say money doesn't buy happiness and its the little things that count. I agree with this in a way. Little things really do matter to me. I'm not a materialistic person at all but imagine having no limits. You are free to go out into the world and spend cash on whatever you want, however much you want, and still live comfortably. That is seriously a dream and walking around NYC yesterday it seems like a lot of people are well off. Sure you see your occasional bum sitting on the corner with a sign that reads "I'm gonna spend your money on booze I'm only being honest" but looking into the sky you see these humongous sky rise apartments. Lofts that look beautiful with sky top gardens. Everyone decked the fuck out and eating at expensive restaurants. Guys dressed to impress and ladies in 300 dollar dresses. You have to work hard to get to where you want. It must be nice to live a day where expenses aren't a thought. You almost wonder how people live so freely? What are they doing with their lives that they are so well off? I can't wait for the day that I am truly financially comfortable in my skin. 

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Last Lights "No Past No Present No Future"

Im sure you have heard a lot about this band due the the tragic passing away of frontman Dominic Mallary which occurred on December 30th, 2008. This record is a collection of everything Last Lights has produced as a band and it hits very close to home. The lyrics are very sincere and heartfelt. I wrote this band off for a while and I'm happy I finally gave them a chance. If you have spare time please sit down and check this record out. Read through the lyrics and become absorbed in it for the short amount of time that it lasts. Dominic was a great lyricist and these recordings will be passed on for a lifetime until hardcore and punk is dead. Its a shame I never got to see this band live. I wonder what would have come of this band if he didn't pass away? All I can say is that he will live through these recordings and for a lifetime after we are gone. This is true hardcore with a true meaning and purpose. A band with something to say. A band that pisses on the land of the slave. Last Lights. R.I.P.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Why am I losing my mind?

So its been a while since I posted in this thing. A lot has happened between the time of now and my last post. The edge is still strong as shit. I've been riding my bike a shit ton. Still keeping active in the core. I also have been losing a ton of weight. Well not a ton but ive lost 20 since Ive stopped drinking. I was at 215 and I am now at 195. Id absolutely like to drop a few more pounds and gain some more muscle but that will come accordingly to how much I work out. Ive also lost another thing. My god damn mind. Lately for whatever reason I've wanted to be very alone. I sorta of feel very independent in a way. I do go out and hangout but I feel little or no emotion as of late. And if I do feel emotion its often depression. Depression can ruin a person inside and out and I know this isn't who I am at all. There's so many people and things in this world I often feel that I don't even exist. To most people I don't exist. I need a sense of direction and motivation and at 21 I can say the world is successfully swallowing me. Today I'm going to relax, sit back, and throw some music on. I haven't done that in about two or three weeks. That's how you know that I'm out of character. I seriously need to get myself out of this hole and get a grip. I truly am "Mentally Vexed".