Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Why am I losing my mind?

So its been a while since I posted in this thing. A lot has happened between the time of now and my last post. The edge is still strong as shit. I've been riding my bike a shit ton. Still keeping active in the core. I also have been losing a ton of weight. Well not a ton but ive lost 20 since Ive stopped drinking. I was at 215 and I am now at 195. Id absolutely like to drop a few more pounds and gain some more muscle but that will come accordingly to how much I work out. Ive also lost another thing. My god damn mind. Lately for whatever reason I've wanted to be very alone. I sorta of feel very independent in a way. I do go out and hangout but I feel little or no emotion as of late. And if I do feel emotion its often depression. Depression can ruin a person inside and out and I know this isn't who I am at all. There's so many people and things in this world I often feel that I don't even exist. To most people I don't exist. I need a sense of direction and motivation and at 21 I can say the world is successfully swallowing me. Today I'm going to relax, sit back, and throw some music on. I haven't done that in about two or three weeks. That's how you know that I'm out of character. I seriously need to get myself out of this hole and get a grip. I truly am "Mentally Vexed".

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